Here’s the cold, hard truth: You will never improve your life or move up in the world if you are always pointing the finger and blaming other people or things, instead of taking responsibility. This blame game started when we were young and some of us never grew out of it. We would say, “my dog ate me homework,” when, in fact, we either forgot about it or simply did not care to complete the assignment on time. We would not take responsibility for our work. When something broke in the house we would point at our sibling or the pet, claiming it was someone else. If you truly want to improve your life, that mindset needs to go.
One way taking responsibility for your actions can improve your life is that it will improve your relationship or your marriage. It takes two people, both parties, to work on a relationship. They both must nurture the flower and help it grow. If only one person does that, then the flower will wilt and die. If we do not look at ourselves for why our relationships are not working, we can never truly take our relationship and our life to the next level. In my marriage, there are several things my wife does and doesn’t do that bothers me. I can blame her for the status of our marriage and that everything is her fault or I can look in the mirror and see what I’m doing wrong. I decided to look in the mirror myself and I’ve been reading this book about love (that I cannot disclose at this time because my wife reads these posts) every day for the past several days. It has given me the opportunity to love life so much more than I did before and I see the errors in my own line of thinking. If you want to improve your life, you have to take responsibility for your actions.
Take school as another example. If your grades are slipping, are you going to blame the teacher for not teaching your right, or not going the extra mile to help you? You need to look at yourself first! Are you putting in the time and effort to get your grades up? Are you asking for some extra study sessions and asking questions during class? Asking for help doesn’t make you weak! It makes you strong because you are aware of what you do not know and what you may not be good at and you are willing to put in the effort and get better. Take responsibility for your grades or you will not get the most out of your education.
Last, but not least, consider your workspace. Is the reason you are not getting promoted due to your effort and/or you are lacking another quality for the promotion or is it because someone is out to get you? When I was younger, I was trying to go up for an early promotion. I did the requirements to get there and my package was being created. Prior to the completion, the individuals who would become my peers upon promotion held a meeting discussing my future. There were a couple of very vocal people in the group that were very against my promotion and no one stood up to defend me. They brought me into the room and told me I wasn’t ready and gave me two lackluster explanations in which I did not display the best judgment. I was furious. I blamed them for quite sometime on why I did not get promoted for another year, but in the end I realized I put myself in that situation. I gave them the opportunity to say no to me. If you want the promotion, you have to ensure you give no one the opportunity to suggest you don’t deserve it. It comes by taking responsibility for your actions and inactions, while holding yourself accountable.
If you want to know the reason for your current predicament, look no further than the individual in the mirror staring back at you. It all starts with you, no matter how many times you point the finger in the other direction. Without accepting responsibility, you are holding yourself back from your true potential in life. You can’t be successful by blaming other people. Focus on your actions, self-reflect and get better.
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