When we begin to point the finger to blame other people or things for our misfortunes, we often point the finger at other people because we believe they are responsible for our predicament. We believe they are held responsible for not fixing our problems. We asked them for help and now we feel like they are obligated to help us and we can go on with our merry way, but none of that is true. It is our life and we our held responsible for our actions. Others are not responsible to fix our problems, we are. Who’s life is it ours or theirs?
Sometimes, if we’re lucky, we have a great support system. Our friends and family are very supportive and help you get back up when you have fallen. What happens when they can’t help you? Are you going to blame them for not picking you up, or are you going to get back up on your own?
There’s a saying, “You can build 1000 bridges, but if one them burns down, you will always be remembered as the one who burned a bridge.” Is that how you will treat other people? They help you 9 out of 10 times, will you remember them for that one time they didn’t help you? Don’t point the finger at anyone, but yourself.
If you can’t seem to lose any weight and you’re sick of being fat, what will you do? Will you point at your parents and say “thanks for the bad genetics” or look at your significant other and say “why can’t you make any healthy food?” If you do that, then you are just wasting time when you could be correcting the deficiency.
Maybe your significant other decides that they will help you and says that they will make you healthier food, but weeks go by and they haven’t made you any better food. It’s the same as it always has been. Will you just wait for them to start making healthy food, or will you do it yourself? You are in charge of your own life and the problems that you have can only be fixed by you. You cannot wait on other people to come to the rescue every time you get yourself in some sort of trouble.
Here’s my personal example:
It was Christmas Eve of 2015, Blair was only a month old and we were still living in an apartment. My wife and I were eating dinner when we heard this sound underneath the sink. It was a squeak. Neither of us were fond of rats and didn’t really want to deal with it, but being the man of the house I had to deal with it. After I mustered up the courage to look, there was nothing there. There was nothing under the sink where we heard the sound. So, we just kept our eyes and ears on the lookout, but didn’t hear it again.
Come New Year’s Eve, my wife made a significant effort to make a great dinner to bring in the new year. She made a whole chicken for us and it was the first time I had eaten a whole chicken or seen one cooked. Our table was so small, so we kept the extra food in the kitchen. We had our first plates and the food was so delicious that I went back into the kitchen for more. I turned on the light and I saw a rat scurry from the chicken and into a pipe in the stove.
Our day started off great and we were excited for what the new year would bring and it was quickly ruined with the return of the rat. We had to throw away all of the food that my wife took hours preparing. If we would have just take care of the situation on day 1, we might never have had to throw out our food and ruined our New Year’s Eve.
We let our apartment management know about the situation and conducted their protocol and called pest control. We expected the apartments to take care of the situation, instead of taking control of the situation ourselves and things ended up getting worse. We didn’t want to spend unnecessary money on something that the apartments should have covered.
Because we expected the apartments to take care of our situation, we ended up dealing with it for a year and a half. They would go away and come back stronger until finally we had enough. We ended up moving to a different apartment complex and had to pay over $1700 to the apartments for breaking the lease and other charges.
As difficult as it may seem, we could and should have handled the situation on our own and we would have saved a lot of money. We cannot rely on other people to fix our problems. We cannot use them as scapegoats and blame them for our misfortunes. We are in charge of our own life and we need to take control.
What’s your excuse?