Focus On What You Can Change

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We all have turbulence in our life where things do not go according to plan.  We make the decision on what to dwell on: the things we can change or the things we cannot change.  If you focus on the things you cannot change, then there will be no progress.  You’ll continue to be stuck in the mud getting mad and pointing fingers, but if you focus on what you can change, you’ll get out of the mud.

If you’re a high school student and you’re struggling, you have a few options.  You can focus on the fact that your parents aren’t there to help you or that they dropped out of high school, so you’ll end up just like them.  Or, you can focus on your study habits or finding a tutor.  One of these will leave you right where you are, while the other one will lead you to change.

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Example

It’s the same thing after high school.  Some people have to work two jobs in order to go to college because they don’t have any scholarships, their parents are broke and they’re broke.  Some people can’t even get into college for this same reason.  You can point your finger at your parents, at your bosses, at your genetics, but if that finger doesn’t point back at you, then you will not see the change that you want.  What could you change in that situation?  You could apply to every school out there, every scholarship opportunity.  Will it be easy?  Absolutely not, but it will be worth it!

In that situation, it seems like that person is working hard because I said “they have 2 jobs”, but what you don’t realize is that those 2 jobs could be minimum wage.  There is more effort inside of the people who work 2 jobs.  They understand they need to work hard, but there’s other ways to put forth effort.  When there’s free time, send in those applications, apply for scholarships, look for better jobs, look for internships, find a side hustle.  You can make the change and not focus on what you cannot change.

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Why am I bringing this up now?

I’ll be honest, there are times where I get stuck in the same predicament, but I have to ask myself what can I change?  My goal is to be the best version of myself, so why point fingers in the past?

Right now, as difficult as it may seem, I don’t know how to ride a bike.  I’ve been trying to teach myself, but in the back of my mind I have this fear of being looked at differently because I never learned.  What if people laugh at me as I fall off the bike or I don’t ride it the right way?  That limiting belief has to be removed.

I have 2 different options: I can point the fingers at my parents for never teaching me how to ride a bike, or I can be uncomfortable and vulnerable and go outside and teach myself.  Option 1 will keep me in the same position I’m already in, but option 2 will make me see improvement.

I’m working on improving my health and fitness and one step in prepping for my fitness transformation is learning to ride a bike and incorporating it into my daily life.  I have to give up my limiting belief and focus on what I can change, not what I cannot change.

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What challenge or obstacle are you facing?  What is one thing you can change and one thing you cannot change?  Write it in the comments below.

-Matt

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